Okay, here’s my attempt at a blog post, following all your instructions. It’s gonna be a bit rough, but that’s the point, right?
Alright, so I got this crazy idea the other day. I was watching some old wrestling, and Brock Lesnar was just destroying everyone, as usual. And I thought, “I wonder what it would be like to, like, text this guy?” I mean, the dude’s a beast. It’s gotta be either terrifying or hilarious, right?
So I did what I always do, I went to the internet!
My “Research”
First, I try find some fan pages, or forums, anything.
I tried to find interviews or articles where he might have talked about how he communicates. Nothing. The guy’s like a locked vault. Makes sense, I guess. He’s not exactly known for being a chatty Cathy.
The Experiment Begins
Since I couldn’t find, you know, his actual number, I decided to try something different. I figured I’d simulate what it might be like to text Brock Lesnar. Kind of like role-playing, but with myself. Yeah, it’s weird, I know.
So I start just a few message drafts, on my phone, pretending I’m talking to him.
- Me: “Hey Brock, huge fan! Just wondering, what’s your favorite post-match meal?”
Then, I try to imagine how he’d respond. Keep in mind, this is all based on his public persona. I’m not claiming to actually know the guy.
- “Brock”: “Meat.”
See? Short, to the point. Brutal. Classic Lesnar.
I kept going, trying different kinds of messages:
- Me:“Hey Man, saw that last match, incredible! Do you ever get nervous before a fight?”
- “Brock”: “No.”
Again, super brief. I’m starting to see a pattern here.
- Me:Any Advice to be strong like you?
- “Brock”: “Lift.”
The Results (Such as They Are)
Okay, so obviously, I didn’t actually text Brock Lesnar. But this little exercise was kind of fun, in a dumb way. It confirmed what I already suspected: the guy’s probably not a big texter. And if he does text, he’s probably not sending long, flowery messages. He’s all about efficiency, both in the ring and, I’m guessing, in his communication.
Would I actually want to text Brock Lesnar? Probably not. I value my life, thank you very much. But it’s fun to imagine the sheer intimidation factor of getting a one-word reply from the Beast Incarnate.
