So, I wanted to dive into this whole “ricochet parenting” thing. I mean, I’ve been a parent for a while now, and let me tell you, it’s a wild ride. I started by just trying to be a good parent, you know? Doing what I thought was right.
Then I began to notice some patterns. Like, when I was stressed, my kids were stressed. It was like I was bouncing my emotions right off them. That’s when I did a little digging – mostly just Googling stuff and reading articles, nothing too fancy.
I figured I needed to get a handle on my own stuff before I could really help my kids with theirs. So I started paying more attention to how I was feeling. I realized that when I was feeling overwhelmed, I’d snap at them more easily. It’s like, you only have a few seconds to react before you end up messing up the other person, and in this case, that’s my own kids. Not cool.
So I tried this thing where I would just name my feelings out loud. Like, “Mom’s feeling really frustrated right now because I can’t find my keys.” Sounds silly, but it actually helped! The kids saw that it’s okay to have these feelings and that it doesn’t mean everything is falling apart.
Then I started trying to show them ways to deal with the tough stuff. Like, if I was stressed about work, I’d say, “Okay, I need to take a few deep breaths and then make a list of what I need to do.” I basically became a walking, talking example of how to handle stress.
- First, figure out what your own triggers are. What makes you stressed or angry?
- Then, find some healthy ways to deal with those feelings. It might be exercise, talking to a friend, or just taking a few minutes to yourself.
- Finally, show your kids how you do it. They’re always watching, even when you think they’re not!
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing them that it’s okay to feel things and that there are ways to handle them without going off the rails. It took me a while to understand that, for young kids, this is how they express “I am feeling something.”
Keep Practicing
It’s a work in progress, for sure. But I can honestly say that things are a lot calmer around here now. I don’t yell as much, and the kids are better at handling their own emotions. It’s like we’re all learning together. We’re figuring out how to be a family without all the unnecessary drama. And trust me, that’s worth more than anything. Also, I’ve found lots of practical strategies on the internet to help teach my kids resilience.
I hope this is somewhat helpful. If you get any value from this, it will be my honor.
